My Rotary frustrations......

OK I just want to start off by saying that if you are Rotarian, DON'T READ THIS. Just click the x and open up a different web page, check the weather, but don't read this post.





Ok, now to continue and say hi personally to all the rotarians who are, in fact, still reading this.
I just came back from probably thee single most frusterating weekends of this year: my "Weekend de Neige" with the Rotary district.
Before I start in on the gruesome details, just want to say that it was above all really really fantasic as always to see the 50 ish other exchange students in the dictrict and for that alone it was worth going. So anyway, as we all like to say - thank you rotary. Honestly. For that anyway.

Ok now to vent about the side thats DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!
When I came to France, I signed rules that stated that I could not travel by myself to visit a nearby friend or relative, without written permission of my natural parents, my host family, my friends and/or family that I was going to see and Rotary.
When I went to England I had all four of these things. Not only that but I had to take a direct flight and have my host family be with me right up unitl I got on the plane and had to have my cousin, be there as soon as I landed. While I really think this is a bit exigent, hey, I got to do it, I saw England, I'm lucky, I'm not complaining.
I also have friends in Switzerland who I have talked about coming to see since I arrived in France. One of my friends birthday party's happens to fall perfectly on my first day of vacation, which is really lucky because I'M NOT ALLOWED TO MISS ONE DAY OF SCHOOL! Even though it counts for nothing and I don't get marked, and I've already graduated.
Again, not complaining, I'm trying to be french here and the french aren't allowed to miss school either. So anyway, I have gotten my three writted permissions from my host family, parents and friends and found a way to take a DIRECT train to the town I want to go to in Switzerland, because changing trains isn't allowed. I was just waiting for Rotary to officially OK it, when our district chairman decided that he wasn't going to give permission to travel anymore. For our own good. Because if we were to be all by ourselves, even on a direct train or flight, we would be put under great risk of sexual harrassment.

So thats it I can't go. Well, I can actually, however, in order to go see them I have to wait for five months, step my foot on Canadian soil, have my passport stamped, and THEN, if I wanted to still, I could go see them.
Does he have any idea how much more it costs to get a 11 hour flight from Kamloops to Laufen, than to catch the 2 hour train?
Anyway, our dear rotary friend started off the weekend by breaking this news to everyone. He doesn't want to hear about the idea of students travelling by themselves anymore. It puts him in a bad mood. The answer is just no. We can even talk about it. We are not getting Rotary's permission. We can travel where our family takes us or, if we still have that evil urge to see europe, we can sign up for the €650 - €950 rotary bus trips (including meals that makes $800 -$1100 Canadian), but only if we can manage to find space on one that falls within our school holidays. Other than that I must find an adult in our family or in rotary that is willing to give up his/her time and money to come with me on the train for 6 hours of their day. Basically, we stay home.
Already the weekend was off to a smashing beginning.
Because this was, "the weekend of snow" we were all looking forward to take advantage of some good skiing. HA HA HA. Not only did we not get to take advantage of the skiing and snow boarding, but the incredibly amazing cross country skiing and snow shoeing trails in the area, for some unknown reason, were off bounds to us too.
In order to "profite" from the snow in the area last night, we walked to the end of the drive way of our hotel, decided the road that is found at the end of it posed too many dangers, and walked back to the hotel.
We ate dinner, which was really delicious.
Then we got to dance!! Which was also very fun. We got to dance right up until 11 30, when it was bedtime. After that it was in our rooms, lights off.
The next morning, feeling all refreshed, we got to tackle the same road that posed too many dangers the night before. We walked on it all the way into the small town nearby. Then back to our hotel.
We then ate lunch. mmmm
Then after Rotary provided us with 5 sleds, for the 50 ish students to amuse themselves with until it was time to go home.
The end of my "weekend of snow."
All I could say when I got home was, thank god, (and rotary, in part as well) for my host families. I got to full out vent to not only one but three moms. One of them gave me the best homemade "confiture" in the whole wide world and the other gave me an asian dinner, because she knew how much I was missing asian, and just ethnic food in general. I love my French moms. I love Veronique ( and her jam) and I love Marie ( and her asian food) It not only just the food, honestly, but just that they are so thoughtful and who doesn't love a good mom when your 10 000 km away from your own.
Rotary in this district is definatly frusterating, but none the less I am glad I am here.

Growing inside and out...

When I cut my hair just before leaving Canada, it was for the following reasons.
1) I was having a bad day (which is totally logical; having a bad day = cut your hair off)
2) One of my heros in life, who also happens to be one of the kids I babysat, PJ at the age of 2 years old, had enough guts and will power to cut her hair off, only a week or so earlier. It looked so adorable. It took her only two years to work up the courage to do something that has taken me 18 years .
3) I wanted it to be a measure of my growth here in France; my personal growth, as well as my hair growth.
In my five months I have come a long way in terms of personal and hair growth. I have learned how to be more patient, more accepting, less judging.
I have learned how incredibly fast time does pass and that nothing in life is ever permanent. Its like the waves of the ocean; there are times when certain things are overwhelming, abundant, but you gotta ride the wave, because the other option doesn't look too good, and before you know it its gone. The good and the bad both will follow this trend.
I have learned how to appreciate my own space and respect the space of others, while living together. I have learned how to deal with rules; not let them ruin your time, but let them be a motivator for doing things the way you want later, at a more appropriate time.
I have learned how to find the balance between having relationships in Canada and having relationships in france.
I have learned french. I have learned how to be french (two completly different things)
I have learned how to look up and enjoy the scenery, without stepping in merde (a much needed talent in France)
I do an amazing french accent now.
This month was the first month that I was able to put my hair in a half pony tail. This month marks exactly the half way point of my exchange. However, my hair will not stay in a pony tail all by itself, I need barrets. It needs help to stay up there, avoid strays. Just like my five months here. I have not done all this personal and hair growth alone. I have had many people, rules, situations impact my life positivly and negativly, but in the end they have all been experiences that I have grown from, in one way or another.
Today, for the first time in five months I decided it was time to cut my hair a bit. To even it out, change style of it a bit. Just a few centimeters. It felt soo good to get it washed, cut and styled by somebody else. I had such a good time. They even served me coffee and chocolate. mmm.

This half-way hair cut has given me a chance to even things out, create a new look and adapt to a new shape.
This was how much hair I have grown!!!!! and my hair as of today.

Experiments...

Hi everyone, just wanted to see if I really could change the color of the text. Did you know the word experiment in french is "experience" I find that funny. It really is like the same thing I guess. We just have two words for it in English

Au hasard

It smells like spring here.
Its getting wamer, the sky is mostly blue today and its getting to the season where one contemplates a coat or not.
Today I took a bike ride with my host family malgre my erge to dive under the covers once again and soak up some delicious saturday afternoon nap time. I totally loved it. I had such a nice time, just peddaling along, looking at the town and buildings and river beside the bike path. The hardest part of any excersize for me is the first one. If I can manage just to get out there I love it.
We went to a quite secluded area of town called "le bout du monde" or in english, "the ends of the earth" it was really cool. Its like a steep rocky valley with a river runnign through it and ancient buildings lining the banks. There was an old building that used to be a mill with a water wheel and all. Someone has since then turned it into a house. There were lots of man made water falls, fish ladders, just cool water features. It was quite wild and really reminded me a lot of Wells Gray, in BC where I went back packing last summer with Ben. I love rivers and water falls, all over the world. I love climbing on the rocks surrounding them and swimming in the deep pools. I can't wait for the water to get warmer, so I can swim.
I did indoor rock climbing with Etienne, my host dad yesterday at lunch. I really enjoyed it, but my arms are killing me today. It was really physical, but really fun too. I'll have to do that again.
So anyway, I haven't been doing really big and exciting things lately, just settling in to my new home, finding a new rhythm and enjoying my semi-nomadic lifestyle this year. I feel good, peaceful and zen for the most part. As much as it is hard to be movng every three months, I love that it gives me a chance to start over again too. Clean out the closet, take down the old posters, and then my new space, rearrange my things the way I like them. Make it my space again, all fresh.
I've been thinking a lot about next year. I may just come back to France. I love it here and I really feeling the need to make it on my own. Travel where and when I want, live the way I want and have all the not so nice responsibilities and stresses that go with it as well. Not only that but Ben has an opportunity to apply to come to France and teach english ( what a guy). While this would be really great, it means that I would be in Canada next year and he would be in france...... While being able to wave to each other from our crossing airplanes in the sky would be cool, it doesn't exactly fulfill what either of us want, and have worked to maintain in this relationship. I would love to be able to start a whole different kind of adventure in france next year. We'll just have to see what all goes down.
Also just in case that doesn't work out or we have a change of mind I have applied for the University of Victoria
I will, without a doubt go to university and get a degree, but the question at this point is just when.. Next year, or the year after. In any case what I do next year depends on the acceptance of Ben in this program and the defferability of any scholarship money that I could win for 2006/2007. The name of the game right now is "wait and see"
Well thats enough random Bonnie thoughts for the day;) Hugs and kiss for all of you.

L'envie de rire

Last night I dreamed that I was in England driving on the left side of the road. I was driving a car where the steering wheel was in opposition. To turn left I had to turn the wheel to the right and vice versa. In my dream this was hilarious. I started laughing and I laughed so hard I woke up to find myself in bed, alone, at 5 am, laughing my head off. Then I realized what a ninnie I was for laughing at a personal joke in the middle of the night, alone and started to laugh even harder. Eventually I calmed down and went back to sleep, but I've had the giggles all day today. Its been wonderful. I always feel so much better after a good laugh, even if I was alone in my bed at 5 am when it occured.

My new dwelling

I thought I would show you all where I live now. I live in an old french house that was built in 1913 Its very french. Its almost right down town so I walk to school everyday now, as opposed to taking the bus. I like it because I can get up a whole half an hour later.
This house is called "Villa Juliette" because of the balcony off of my current bedroom. (seen below) This is my bathroom. It too is very old and french and charming. I share it with the english student who rents a room here.

Changes.....

I have changed families last monday. Since then I have gone, back to school after the vacation, snowboarding, to a good-bye party for my australian friend, and been really really sick.
Its weird to change families. My current family is really really nice, but it just is a bit odd to come home to a different house, have different rules and values in your life and talk about different things.
My host Mom is named Marie and she is an elementary school teacher. She teaches 5 and 6 year olds. My host Dad is working on a huge 15 year project called "le project grand lac" which is in the process of improving the environmental conditions of the biggest lake in France, Bourget du Lac, about 20 km from our house. They have 3 daughters, one in Mexico, one who is at school at Grenoble, and one who works in Annecy. I am an only child again in the house during the week, except for a student who rents a room here, named Dorine.
It's odd to see the australians leaving. All the exchange students from the Southern Hemisphere come at christmas and stay till the next because thats how their school system goes.
The australians for the rest of the exchange students, or at least for me, are like the holders of all knowledge. They have been through what we are going through, they know how frusterating, good, bad or uncomfortable it can be. They can not only symapthize and tell you that it was the same way for them, but give you advice based on how they got through a hard time. If there was a problem, and an australain was taking care of it, you know that its going to be ok. They really "know what they are doing." All the experiences that we are going through blindly, have already been done by them, just 6 months ago. They have this perspective we can't see, and because it was only 6 months ago that they were in our shoes, they remember exactly how it was. Its good to look at them and how they have, moved on, integrated well and are terrified to leave France. It makes me apprecaite the fact that I do still have 6 months here, and that it will fly by, so make the best of it. However it makes me wonder if I will ever be that integrated and "french"
In any case it will be funny to see the new student from New Zealand that we are getting in our school next week. It will probably make me realize how "french" I really am and it will be a good to reflect on how far I have come as opposed to how far I have to go.
Even in my 4 months here I have really come to see France like my home country a bit more.
When people say to me "oooo I would absolutly love to go to Canada, its such a wonderful country etc..." my reaction is always a bit like "Why? Yeah, its nice if you like the outdoors and nature, but its just a country" Yet at the same time it was my country. I totally apprecaite it and love it for what it is and what I can do there. I will always be very attached to it, just not in a touristic way. Someplace where I will always feel at home.
When I first came here I was the tourist that was constantly saying how wonderful and amazing France is. Now after my 4 months, its like my home. I've realized that while its an incredible country, its not perfect either. There are things that are incredible, like the old buildings, history and diversity of the climates. I have come to apprecaite those things even more, but my love for France is not so crazy and touristic, I see France more home, its amazing, but above all its real.
Thats part of the reason that I am glad I am doing this with Rotary. Althought the rules and restrctions are incredibly frusterating at times, this year I really get to see France through a french persons eyes. I see what they see, and how their lives really are here. Its not just cheese and wine, but real life, just in french.